


If You Kissed Me Now

by socknonny



Series: Harringrove Christmas Prompts [2]
Category: Stranger Things - Fandom
Genre: Anger, Angst, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, Mistletoe, Possessive Billy Hargrove
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 04:30:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17036696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/socknonny/pseuds/socknonny
Summary: When Steve kisses Jonathan under the mistletoe at the Byers’ Christmas party, it’s only for a joke. But for some reason, it sets Billy off, and Steve won’t leave him alone until he understands why.12 days of Christmas prompts: mistletoe





	If You Kissed Me Now

The Byers’ Christmas party is in full swing when Steve has one of the stupidest ideas he’s ever had. He’s standing in the doorway chatting to Jonathan when he looks up to see a sprig of mistletoe hanging above them. El giggles from the kitchen behind them, her eyes sparkling as Steve meets her gaze, and then before he can second-guess himself, he grabs a surprised Jonathan around the middle and swoops him into a kiss.

For all its flair, it’s a chaste kiss—more for show than enjoyment, although Steve’s heart swells with the knowledge that he _can_ do this here. He can be silly and goofy and a little bit different, and he isn’t judged for it; he’s applauded. The sound of cheering and laughter signals it’s time to end the kiss, and he rights them both and stumbles backward with a grin.

When Steve turns away from Jonathan, head swimming with booze and laughter, the first thing he sees is Billy Hargrove’s eyes locked on his. The expression Billy wears freezes him in his tracks, turning his blood to ice and sobering him by half. The room still spins, but it’s tinged with nausea now, the good spirit and lightheartedness of his mood vanishing in an instant.

Billy’s eyes flash with something mean, something Steve hasn’t seen in months. There is a second where Steve is sure something is going to explode just by sheer virtue of being in the vicinity of Billy Hargrove looking like that, but then Billy shatters the moment by driving his fist into the wall and walking away.

Steve chases after him, ignoring Jonathan’s confused protests and the rest of the Party still laughing at the kiss. The music is too loud and Billy was standing too far away for anyone else to hear or see the punch; only Steve knows that something has happened.

That’s the thing with Billy. His anger always means something. It only took Steve a few weeks of friendship to notice that, and then he couldn’t help wondering why no one else ever had. It was so fucking obvious. He’d always been so sure that Billy was nothing more than a psycho, losing his shit over the tiniest thing because he had nothing better to do or because he liked the thrill of it. But then they’d become friends, fought a few monsters, got to know each other. And the closer Steve looked, the more he realized there was always a reason, even if Billy didn’t know it.

Steve had kissed Jonathan for a joke, and Billy had punched a wall. There is a link.

He finds Billy getting into his car. A second later, and he would have been too late, but when Billy sees Steve, he pauses. A small part of Steve’s mind unfurls itself from hidden depths and whispers the thought that Billy probably wouldn’t wait for many people.

“What the hell, man?” Steve leans against the hood, arms crossed and voice steady.

He isn’t afraid of Billy, even though he knows first hand what the man can do when he loses control. Perhaps _because_ he knows first hand.

Billy stares at him, face still and emotionless while his eyes are a storm. Eventually he laughs, bright and fake, and runs his tongue along his teeth.

“What’s the problem, pretty boy? Am I interrupting your fun?”

“I’m the one who chased you,” Steve reminds him.

He studies Billy for a sign of weakness, a chink in his armor that might let Steve in enough to understand this particular anger. It’s happened before, but it’s rare and often more confusing than if he understood it less. The thing with Billy is the weaknesses are everywhere; his armor is full of holes. But there are so many layers of it—the armor is so _old_ —that breaking through doesn’t do shit.

“Sounds like you need a new hobby.”

“I’ve got one. It’s called a party.” Steve jerks his head to the open front door, where music and laughter are still blaring. Christmas lights blink along the porchlight, bathing them in a multicoloured glow. “Why don’t you come back inside and join me there?”

Billy laughs, and it has a nasty edge to it. “Come back and join you?” he repeats.

Steve knows he’s walking into a trap. “Yeah.” He walks in anyway.

The Christmas lights dance across their faces, making Billy’s eyes glitter. “Join you and the freak under the mistletoe?” His teeth are bared in a wolfish grin, so white against the dark of the night.

“Is that what this is about?”

Steve’s skin is prickling, warning him that something is coming. Something bad, bad, bad. He’s always known he is bi, but he doesn’t advertise it. Something like that’ll get you run out of Hawkins, even if it’s only a joke; it’ll get you far worse if you aren’t so lucky. But he’s safe in this house. He can be who he really is in front of these people, and he thought that included Billy. It makes something vicious and twisted crawl inside his chest to think he was wrong.

Billy shrugs, deliberately obtuse, baiting him. “Dunno. Is it?”

“Quit with the bullshit,” Steve hisses, crowding in close.

Billy’s eyes dart across his face. There’s something there, hidden behind the aggression and bravado. There’s always something there.

A grin spreads across Billy’s face, so close to Steve’s own their breath is mingling together in the cold night air. “Not my problem if you wanna get nice and close with another—”

“Fucking say it,” Steve says, low and serious. “I dare you to say it, because if you do, this ends. All of it. I’m done.”

He doesn’t even know what he’s saying, but there’s a tone in his voice that scares even him—a truth in his words that comes through even as his mind races in confusion. Billy flinches. It’s so small, Steve wouldn’t notice if there were anything more than inches separating them. His own breath catches in his throat as he waits to find out if, after everything they’ve been through, he actually means anything to Billy Hargrove.

Neither of them look away, and Steve is no longer sure it’s the Christmas lights that are making Billy’s eyes glitter.

“Cut the bullshit,” Steve says again, but it sounds different this time. Less like he’s demanding Billy tell the truth, and more like he’s promising he will too.

Billy swallows, his throat moving visibly. “Why’d you kiss him?”

“Because I could,” Steve says simply. “Because I knew he wouldn’t mind, and it would make Will relax, and because it’s nice not to hide sometimes.”

He watches Billy process the words, parse the meaning from them, and emerge with the truth Steve isn’t sure he’s ever properly shared before. Someone inside the house whoops with delight, and it sounds as though it’s worlds away.

When Billy moves, shifting onto his other foot, Steve braces himself to watch his closest friend run away. But it never comes. Billy’s expression clears, the aggression and bravado melting away along with all the rest of his armor, and for the first time Steve sees below the surface. Those blue eyes are bright with fear, and as they flick to the front door and back, Steve realizes what is about to happen.

His heart hammers in his chest, every nerve ending on fire as Billy reaches out to grab him by the front of the shirt, pulls him roughly forward, and kisses him.

It’s short, over before Steve has even processed it, but they’re both breathing ragged, harsh pants into the stillness of the night, and the clawing thing in Steve’s chest has gone silent. He reaches for Billy, aching to relive the kiss that already feels like a lifetime ago, but Billy takes a step backward and holds up his hands.

Steve realizes Billy is shaking.

“Not yet,” Billy says, his low drawl barely audible.

Steve nods without answering, words failing him as he tries to work out what just happened and how to make sure it happens again, how to make sure Billy doesn’t run.

“Okay,” he says, breathless. Then, “Will you come back inside with me?”

The air is stifling, filling his lungs and choking him as he waits for Billy to answer.

“Yeah,” he says finally. “Yeah, let’s go.”

Instead of walking off on him, Billy waits until they fall into step, their shoulders brushing as they walk side by side back onto the front porch. Before Steve can go inside, Billy grabs him by the shoulder.

“Don’t—” Billy begins, the words cutting off with the edge of panic.

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve says quietly, trying to sound kind though the words are overwhelmed with sadness. “Don’t tell anyone, I got it.”

Looks like this was a one-time thing; it’s not happening again.

Billy’s brow draws down and he shakes his head. “No shit,” he mutters, a flash of his usual self returning. “But that’s not what I’m saying.” He jerks his head towards the party who are now dancing to Hall and Oate’s version of _Jingle Bell Rock_ , and his eyes turn fierce. “Don’t kiss him again.”

Steve’s chest bubbles with an unnamed emotion. He glances over to where Jonathan is dancing with Nancy, their eyes fixed on one another. His stomach jolts as he realizes the look on their faces is familiar; it’s how Billy was looking at him just before.

“Sure,” he says, unable to keep the smile from spreading across his face as he turns back to Billy and sees the same expression echoed there once more. “What about if you’re standing under the mistletoe, Hargrove?”

He doesn’t know if he’s pushing it. He hopes he isn’t pushing it.

Billy’s eyes flash with fear, but it’s only for a second. Then, his mouth draws into a small grin. “Don’t go getting any stupid ideas, Harrington.”

He leads the way back inside, Steve following slowly behind while Billy's words echo around in his mind. It isn’t a yes, but it isn’t a no, and a faint sense of hope stirs in Steve's chest as he recognizes it for what it is: the first layer of armor disappearing.

And the promise of something more.

**Author's Note:**

> The question is, can I name every one of these prompt ficlets after the same song? Challenge accepted. (Probably not accepted haha, but challenge considered, briefly, during the delirium of midnight posting)


End file.
